Can two walk together?

This post is not made to be light-hearted but rather (to me) is kind of sadish. The title is actually a verse from the Bible. It is Amos 3:3, "Can two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?" So I had this friend for like my whole life who I basically grew up with. And when we were younger being friends was really easy. But then many things happened such as boys and religion. I won't get into too much discussion about this, but needless to say there was a falling out over a year ago. We met up for the first time last night to see if we could be friends, and I was extremely willing, and the person was at first. And then something snapped..a button was pushed and then all of a sudden it was as if I was living a dream, a nightmare really. I felt desperate and panicked as I realized I had become extremely vulnerable and poured my heart out to someone who was right then breaking my heart and taking jabs at me. I felt desperate to go back to the light-hearted conversation from 15 minutes before or to be 8 years old again, but it was impossible. And that was that. I walked away in more pain and more confusion than I had before I went out there, and all I felt was regret. And if you know me you know how I feel about regrets and bitterness. My favorite quote in the world is "Regret makes you old, and bitterness poisons the people around you." So basically I cried for a while last night and realized that fine I was going to remove myself completely, because I had done all I could and this person seemed to be enjoying my pain and I was done apologizing because it wasnt all on me, it was on them. So I decided they didnt get to know anything about my life because if they werent going to be my friend. They didnt deserve to know. So no, you cant walk with someone when they arent willing to walk and put the effort in.

Anyways, I decided to look extra nice for church today to make myself feel better and we went to Uno's after church for lunch so that was nice. And we have been playing wii which always makes me happy so I've been trying to have a nice day. I have to go to bed really early this whole week bc I have a mandatory 7am work time tomorrow bc of the heat=( and this whole week I think. Which really sucks since it's like pointless for me and Brandon to even do that b/c we don't work upstairs really where there is no air, but oh well. Maybe I'll treat myself to a biscuit before work. Well I'm gonna go for now. I'll try to have lighter and happier subjects for next time.

Who writes,
Stefjenny